100

Yesterday I had an amazing doctor's appointment.  (Well about as amazing as a doctor's appointment can be.)

I blew a 102% on my PFT (fev1) !!!

I am almost two years post TX and finally, FINALLY broke 100.  I have been waiting for this day for basically my whole life.  The last time my lungs were at 100% capacity I was a child.
My lungs feel amazing still.  I am so thankful and blessed.  I wish I could have shared this news with my old CF team that had watched me struggle to breathe and helped me out so much over the years.  A big 'thank you' to them as well.

Lately I have been struggling a bit with anxiety.  I think a lot of it stems from not wanting to waste my life. It is hard for me to just relax.  I get worried that I am wasting this health, this energy level, this time.  With great power comes great responsibility or some rubbish such as that.
On one hand this can be a good thing.  It drives me to accomplish things.  Projects. Plans.
On the flip side it can be burdensome.  I feel anxious to an uncomfortable amount at times.  It is difficult for me to decipher how much of this anxiety, if any, is normal.  I am working on it.
To have the strong desire to live life to the fullest and to be out on adventures all the time, and then spend everyday doing the repetitive, constant house work can be frustrating.  One of my old roommates (who is a new mother) put it best when she said she feels like a machine on some days.  Not to say we don't adore our children, but I can certainly relate to that thought.

So trying to balance giving my kids the stability and routine that they need while trying to soak in new experiences is where I am at presently.  I only have so much time left - I want to squeeze everything in.

I want to live life to 100% capacity.

ONE YEAR!

One whole year and I'm still here. Ha HA take THAT diablo! Yeeeeeeee!

Yesterday was my one year anniversary of my double lung transplant!  I know, I didn't write anything, I am a bad blogger.  Not to say I wasn't thankful, I am, I was just so busy...

THIS YEAR HAS BEEN CRAZY AWESOME!!  It definitely goes down in the books as one of the best years of my life, and that is saying a lot because I have had some pretty great years.  It is weird to think it has only been a year in a sense because it seems like a distant lifetime ago that I was sick.

They say it takes a village to raise a child.  Literally though it really does take close to a village to give someone a lung transplant.  From my great CF doctor, the CF team, the surgeon, the transplant coordinator, the anesthesiologist, the nurses, respiratory therapists, physical therapists the transplant doctors and I'm sure a bunch of other very important people that are slipping my mind at the moment.  It really restored my view of the human race as a whole, and made me realize that there is some good left in this crazy world of ours.
I am eternally grateful.

Yesterday my dad brought up to remember the donor's family and that a year ago they lost a loved one.  It was a somber moment, remembering my donor.
I am eternally grateful.

We had a little celebration last night at our house.  I had so much fun.  Most of my good friends were there and I just had a blast.  I get by with a little help from my friends (Actually A LOT of help) and the close friends that I have are more important to me than ever before.  I'm a lucky girl with really great friends.
I am eternally grateful.

And . . . last but not least :  Abba Father God.  I am thankful for this life he has entrusted me with... I am unworthy of it, but am so glad he sustains me and lets me live.  Not only has he let me live, it has been a year of enjoyment and blessing, fun and partying.
I am eternally grateful.

- - - - - - 

In other news . . .  

Seth and I have decided to pursue adoption!  We are very excited about this.  We are slowly working our way to getting licensed through the county.

We both totally have a heart for adoption and it has been an idea we have thrown back and forth since we first got married almost ten years ago.  There are so many kids that need a loving and caring home.  We believe adoption is biblical and not only will the child benefit from it, we will too.  

Weeeeell, things were moving along slowly/normal ... we still have a ton of stuff to do before we are anywhere near being licensed.  But wanna hear something cool?  Yesterday on my one year lung anniversary I got a voicemail on my cell phone.  It was about the possible placement of a two year old little boy!  (Which is exactly the age range/gender we are hoping for)  She said she wanted to expedite the process.  I don't know how much I am allowed to say on here, but eeeeeeeeeeeee!  

We don't know for sure if this little guy will be ours yet or not, but we do get to meet him soon and he may even get to stay with us as early as January depending on how things go.  

I just wanted to let you know so you could be praying!  Like I said... nothing is for sure but it is a possibility that we could be adopting very, very soon.

I think God has fun blowing my mind.