Lemonades

I love having a lemon tree. Picked, washed and squeezed up some fresh lemonade from our yard this afternoon.  It was a gorgeous day, a flip-flop, walk-to-places-instead-of-drive kind of a day. And if anyone near wants some lemons, swing by, because there is still more than plenty hanging on our tree.

"I love you making lemonades" - Aiden (to me)

Finalization!

Hello!  I am way behind on update type posts.....

Aiden is adopted!  Yay.  Everything is done!  No more paperwork, social worker visits, etc.

It feels good.

Aiden is now related to us as if he had been born to us.  The finalization was November 18th - oh what a fun day it was.  We all came to the courthouse, told to invite as many friends and family as we wanted.  My good friends Myrna and Christina came with their kids.  My grandparents drove all the way up from Southern California.  My parents came and so did Aiden's old foster family, Beth and Lily and their kids.

We arrived at the court, I had to stash my weapons (mace, haha) in a bush on the outside of the building.  We all went through the metal detectors and then crammed in an elevator to the courtrooms.  The mood in the air was such a contrast to the last time we had been in court.  Back in April when Aiden's biological mom was losing all of her rights to him, it was a very sobering, sad day - even for Seth and I.  This time was different.  The atmosphere in the air was one of happiness and joy.

The county did such a great job of making it super special for us.  They had a table of refreshments, they gave Seth apple cider, myself a bouquet of flowers and Aiden a bouquet of balloons.  The newspaper photographer was there to capture the moment, along with two other photographers.  We sat down as a family, they arranged us, took a few shots and five minutes later handed us a framed family portrait with the date printed on it.

When it was our turn to go before the judge in the family court, everyone could come in.  All of the normal courtroom rituals and rules seemed to be thrown out the window for this very special occasion.  We did not stand as the the judge entered the room, the bailiff didn't call the court to order - everything was very casual.  Every child in the room was allowed to pick out a stuffed animal to take home.

The judge walked up to Aiden and asked why he was here.  He said "a party"(hehehe). She then proceeded to ask who I was... he said "my mom"  and then she asked who Seth was.  He said "my dad"
The whole thing was adorable and sugary sweet.

We signed a paper to finalize (even Mr. Aiden got to sign) and then we raised our right hand as we swore to love, protect, care for Aiden and treat him as our own.  Then the judge introduced us to her mother and proceeded to tell us that she was in a quilting group and they had made a quilt for Aiden!

We then gathered and took a few snapshots to remember the special day by.

Afterwards we came back to the house and had a potluck type party. Aiden had so much fun he said he wanted to go back and do it again.

Also because of national adoption day being Saturday the nineteenth the newspaper decided to run a front page story and the family they chose to feature was ours!  Also the Watsonville Patch did an article about us too.  Here is the link to the Santa Cruz Sentinel if you want to check it out:

Forever family: Parents, children seal lifelong bonds in Watsonville courtroom

noël

We chopped down a tree today!  Way too late for my taste, but we have been in and out of town like a fiddler’s elbow.  Christmas music, hot chocolate with marshmallows, candles and love made for a great day.

More About Adoption

So I think it is about time I talk about adoption and Aiden a little more.

It has been 9 months now since he has been part of our family.  I forgot what I have told you thus far so I will just go over the basics of his story (and ours).

We are adopting him through the foster care system.  I have very good friends who have done international adoption which we considered also, but financially going through the foster care system seemed to make sense and work out best for us.  I have noticed at times the foster care system has a weird social stigma attached to it.  Maybe rightly so, maybe not.  Maybe the few horror stories that do make it into the news taint people's views on it.  I am not really sure.  A lot of it seems to be hearsay or fear based.  Misinformation is another thing I have noticed.  Passing on rumors about things that people are not really sure about is something the general population loves to do.  They just eat it up.  Maybe this is true of all types adoption.  I don't know.

Again I am just going off of my own experiences here, talking about my own observations.  Going into this process I would be lying to you if I said I wasn't the least bit scared.  In the classes that you take before you get licensed they prepare you for the worst.  You learn about drug exposure, neglect, mental illness, attachment issues and the list goes on.  Sometimes during the class (PRIDE class it is called in our county) you are left wondering if there is even a remote chance you will be able to adopt an even remotely 'normal' child.  My imagination runs wild and there were times I felt like we may end up fostering a 'vegetable' or an extremely special needs child our whole lives.  (Sorry if that is not politically correct or offensive - I can't think of a better word).  The PRIDE class is a necessary step though, and is needed to weed out people who think everything is going to be only roses and butterflies.  Life is rarely full of perfect circumstances and this is especially true of kids who have been removed from their home by child protective services.  After learning about every possible scenario of what could be wrong with a potential foster/adoptive child I was a teensy bit apprehensive and intimidated.

In my experience with the county I don't think things could have gone much smoother.  I realize this may not be true for every foster family - but for ours the process was relatively easy.  I am so glad we did not let the fear hold us back - as it seems to with so many able bodied people.  Foster care and adoption is not for everyone - but sometimes excuses people make for themselves are not really good excuses in my opinion.  There are children out there who need a loving home and you are going to let some rumor that your neighbour's, cousin's, sister had a bad foster care experience shape your views and give you an easy out to not have to consider adoption?  Sorry, I don't buy it.

To foster/adopt a child here in my county you don't need to be financially well off, own a house, be married, be a certain race, be straight or gay, or even be completely healthy.  What is needed is to be able to provide a safe, loving home.  To be over 18 and provide stability and care to a child who needs it.

Sequentially it has turned out to be a humongous blessing in our family.  I will have to talk about Aiden's more specific story on a different day.  While I am not saying everything went, or is going perfectly for us I want to share my side of things so hopefully more people will consider being a foster or adoptive parent. It has been yet another adventure that I believe is led by God.  Our finalization date is coming up on November 18th because of national adoption day.  I can't wait for that - and true to our style we are going to be partying!

fun with animals. and miniature plastic toys as well.

September is the nicest month as far as weather goes here in Santa Cruz.  And by nice I mean hot.  So even though I did this little project a few weeks ago when the sun was beating down I am just now getting around to putting up the photos.  Oh well.

You know those little plastic animals that kids get, but they never really seem to play with after they are first opened?  I don't know about you - but I have tons of those at my house.  (Not to mention green army guys, and legos)  Well I froze them.  I saw this idea somewhere and liked it because it is a free, easy, and possibly even educational way to entertain the kids on a super hot day.

They started out chipping away with butter knives, (I realize that is kind of dangerous - I was supervising closely) but then they figured out on their own that it may work better to pour water on it to make it melt faster.

I especially liked this project for my three year old Aiden, because he doesn't quite know the names of all of the animals yet so we got to work on learning those together. Also I liked tricking both the kids into being super excited about each individual animal that they didn't even care about before.  They were entertained by the block of animals stuck in ice probably a good half hour or more.  All the way until it was completely melted.

Aiden

Aiden.  Yep - that is what is new in our family's life.  He did move in with us, as scheduled, on January 13th.  It has been such a blessing, hard at times, but overall very good!  He is a very sweet little guy, he is adventurous and athletic.  He is quiet, yet comfortable.  He loves to climb and he can balance on a moving skateboard.  Aiden is friendly when meeting new people but also quiet and reserved.  He is silly, he is loving, he is stubborn and full of happiness.  He is doing so well considering all that he has been through.  The transition has gone very smoothly, as smooth as I could hope for.  The first night he was with us things kind of felt like a sleepover.  The kids were excited.  Aiden's old foster family was great to him, but he just jumped right in without too much sadness.

Levi has had a lot of adjusting to do as well.  Aiden plays with his toys sometimes, breaks stuff, and they share a room, etc.  At first there was much fighting and crying ... and there still is to some degree, but they are becoming very close.  Aiden adores Levi and likes to follow him around and copy him.  I love it when they giggle and play together as brothers, it melts my heart.

If you have known me well in the past, you may have known how it bothered me that Levi was growing up as an only child.  I like having a sister, so of course I wanted the same for him.  I think siblings are good for so many reasons ... to have a buddy and someone to play with; learning to share and learning to live with someone in a close relationship.  When I see the two of them interact, and my dream of having more than one kid is coming true, I am thankful.

Even with a two year old as mellow as Aiden life has changed much.  We don't quite go out to eat as much, more dishes, laundry etc.  But the level of craziness and excitement around this place has quadrupled.  It's not so quiet here between all four of us.  I mostly enjoy that though, and appreciate the lack of dull and boring.  I am also aware that having small children is just a short season in life overall ... so I am embracing the loudness and activity and crazy as much as I can.

Aiden is our foster son currently, but of course we are moving in the direction to adopt him.  His biological mom's rights are going to be terminated this week.  I really like her as a person, the several times I have met with her, and we plan to keep this an open adoption with Aiden growing up knowing who is biological mother is.  After the court date this week we begin the official adoption process.  We are looking at the finalization to take place around late July.  Then he will be legally recognized as ours, forever.

Not to get all sappy on you or anything, but people say how lucky Aiden is to have ended up in our family.  Really I feel like we are the lucky ones.  He is an awesome little guy.  He is a gift, and I feel privileged to raise him and have him call me mama.

"A"

I have been hesitant to write on here as of late, because I don't know what or how much I am allowed to say.  As I mentioned last time, we are adopting through the county/state.  I haven't really been briefed on confidentiality, but common sense tells me I shouldn't put a kid who's not mine (yet) on blast all over the interweb.  For privacy purposes on this blog I suppose I should call him "A".  I also have photos, videos, information about his history etc... but should also probably keep private at this time.  Later on when everything is final I am sure that I will be posting more photographs of little A than you even care to see . .

So yeah, we met him a few weeks ago.  I tell you I wasn't a believer in love at first sight until I had kids.  I felt that way with Levi and with A also.  He is such a sweetie.  He takes everything in slowly and thoughtfully.  He has dimples you just want to kiss and big, brown puppy dog eyes that are probably going to work to his advantage with me and letting him get away with stuff more than I should.  He just turned two, and is at the age where he enjoys peek-a-boo and pressing any type of buttons he can find.  He likes hearing different sounds, noises and volumes as well.  He loves kids and currently has been living with some foster brother and sisters around Levi's age.

He is with two foster moms now, and they have just been great.  They have provided a loving home for him and worked hard these past six months to help A grow and blossom.  I really admire how well behaved their children are and how well they have taken care of A.  Both of his foster moms have made this transition super easy on us, and have really guided us along.  I know his likes, dislikes, his insecurities and routines already because they have really spent a lot of time filling us in.

When A first arrived at their house all he had with him were the clothes on his back and a bag of flaming hot cheetos that he was eating.  Stop and think about that for a moment.  He was one years old - eating flaming hot cheetos.  I can barely handle the heat of those things sometimes.  Wow, it kind of gives me a glimpse of how hard his life must have been at one point.  In fact I know his life has been hard.... but like I said before I am holding back on the details.

The social worker is planning on doing an 'emergency placement' and even though we are not licensed yet the goal is to have him permanently in our house by the thirteenth.  Exactly a month to the day she first called about him.  The adoption social worker says this "feels like a miracle."  Her words.  Not mine.  The foster care social worker says she is blown away at how quickly this is happening for us.  (And she deals with every single family who does foster care)

What is it with extraordinary things happening in my life?  I really don't get it.  Why do miracles, awesome people, and awesome circumstances just fall into my lap?  Beats me.  I am a lucky girl.

Well there is a ton more to write about... but I'll have to do that later . . .