fun with animals. and miniature plastic toys as well.

September is the nicest month as far as weather goes here in Santa Cruz.  And by nice I mean hot.  So even though I did this little project a few weeks ago when the sun was beating down I am just now getting around to putting up the photos.  Oh well.

You know those little plastic animals that kids get, but they never really seem to play with after they are first opened?  I don't know about you - but I have tons of those at my house.  (Not to mention green army guys, and legos)  Well I froze them.  I saw this idea somewhere and liked it because it is a free, easy, and possibly even educational way to entertain the kids on a super hot day.

They started out chipping away with butter knives, (I realize that is kind of dangerous - I was supervising closely) but then they figured out on their own that it may work better to pour water on it to make it melt faster.

I especially liked this project for my three year old Aiden, because he doesn't quite know the names of all of the animals yet so we got to work on learning those together. Also I liked tricking both the kids into being super excited about each individual animal that they didn't even care about before.  They were entertained by the block of animals stuck in ice probably a good half hour or more.  All the way until it was completely melted.

100

Yesterday I had an amazing doctor's appointment.  (Well about as amazing as a doctor's appointment can be.)

I blew a 102% on my PFT (fev1) !!!

I am almost two years post TX and finally, FINALLY broke 100.  I have been waiting for this day for basically my whole life.  The last time my lungs were at 100% capacity I was a child.
My lungs feel amazing still.  I am so thankful and blessed.  I wish I could have shared this news with my old CF team that had watched me struggle to breathe and helped me out so much over the years.  A big 'thank you' to them as well.

Lately I have been struggling a bit with anxiety.  I think a lot of it stems from not wanting to waste my life. It is hard for me to just relax.  I get worried that I am wasting this health, this energy level, this time.  With great power comes great responsibility or some rubbish such as that.
On one hand this can be a good thing.  It drives me to accomplish things.  Projects. Plans.
On the flip side it can be burdensome.  I feel anxious to an uncomfortable amount at times.  It is difficult for me to decipher how much of this anxiety, if any, is normal.  I am working on it.
To have the strong desire to live life to the fullest and to be out on adventures all the time, and then spend everyday doing the repetitive, constant house work can be frustrating.  One of my old roommates (who is a new mother) put it best when she said she feels like a machine on some days.  Not to say we don't adore our children, but I can certainly relate to that thought.

So trying to balance giving my kids the stability and routine that they need while trying to soak in new experiences is where I am at presently.  I only have so much time left - I want to squeeze everything in.

I want to live life to 100% capacity.

Sehnsucht

You have stood before some landscape, which seems to embody what you have been looking for all your life; and then turned to the friend at your side who appears to be seeing what you saw—but at the first words a gulf yawns between you, and you realise that this landscape means something totally different to him, that he is pursuing an alien vision and cares nothing for the ineffable suggestion by which you are transported . . . All the things that have deeply possessed your soul have been but hints of it—tantalising glimpses, promises never quite fulfilled, echoes that died away just as they caught your ear. But if it should really become manifest—if there ever came an echo that did not die away but swelled into the sound itself—you would know it. Beyond all possibility of doubt you would say 'Here at last is the thing I was made for.' We cannot tell each other about it. It is the secret signature of each soul, the incommunicable and unappeasable want . . . which we shall still desire on our deathbeds . . . Your place in heaven will seem to be made for you and you alone, because you were made for it—made for it stitch by stitch as a glove is made for a hand. - C.S. Lewis

goal

25 things

i posted this on facebook, but figure i may as well post it here also

1. hey look - i already gave one away: i have never done one of these.

2. to this day i am not completely certain what my first name is.

3. i was in the circus. not as a volunteer one time or anything - like i seriously was friends with circus people and i walked on tight ropes and such. weird, i know.

4. i have tattoos. i hope to get another within the next month.

5. growing up i owned (are you ready for this list?) dogs, birds, fish, frogs, snakes, tarantulas, iguanas, rats, hamsters, chickens, a pig, a peacock, and a peahen. ironically enough i am not really an animal person.

6. i have had a double lung transplant.

7. i ate a beignet for my first time on friday night.

8. i love the smell of wet concrete.

9. sometimes i feel like no one really knows me.

10. sometimes i feel very tall and then catch a glimpse of myself in a reflection and remember all over again that i am kind of short.

11. i am a foster mom - soon to be an adoptive mom. (and a biological mom also i should add)

12. nothing yucks me out more than the sound of cloth ripping or the sound of yarn against a metal crochet needle {{shiver}}

13. i can easily see myself as a drug addict. but i am not.

14. i enjoy watching music videos on youtube. (actually you probably all could have guessed that one)

15. i would rather drive a little bit longer on a different route than sit in traffic for the same amount of time.

16. i prefer driving stick.

17. as a child i attended a one room school house grade K-12 built in the 1800's because the road washed away to town. we went there a year. it was awesome.

18. ^ that same flood someone flew-in our neighbours groceries by helicopter.

19. i got to go to disneyworld through make-a-wish as a child. also very awesome.

20. jay leno called me a weevil.

21. i am a pastor's kid.

22. when i was 7 years old i was obsessed, OBSESSED with blues music.

23. my best friend is moving to antarctica in a month.

24. i really hate my face touched.

25. i love thrill rides, waterslides, and jumping up and down on rickety extension bridges with rapids underneath.

grade 1

here is a photo of a very reluctant 1st grader on the first day of school

by the end of the day he was okay with it.